Orgasms relieve stress, boost the immune system and fight insomnia. Even without all these positives, orgasms simply feel wonderful. It’s no wonder so many of us are on the hunt for bigger, better, and more frequent orgasms.
So why deny themselves all these amazing things? Orgasm denial can have surprising benefits.
Orgasm denial isn’t straight up abstinence from everything sexy all the time. In most cases, it has a sexual component, usually in the form of anticipation, that is carefully controlled. One of the more common styles of orgasm denial for couples allows one partner to have control while the other submits and follows their rules. There are two basic types of orgasm denial: total denial and tease and denial.
The most classic example of total denial is referred to in the kink world as chastity. The submissive partner may be required to wear a chastity device to ensure they abstain from sexual activity. In other cases, the submissive simply promises not to engage in sexual activity for an extended amount of time.
This type of orgasm denial is usually performed on a longer term. For instance, the submissive may be forbidden from masturbating completely, only allowed to masturbate when the dominant grants permission, or forbidden from all forms of sex for short or long periods of time.
In Tease and denial, the dominant arouses the submissive and then stops just before orgasm. It can be part of a stand-alone session in which after being denied a number of times the submissive is allowed to cum. This technique is often referred to as edging. Tease and denial can also be done over a long period of time. It isn’t uncommon for dominants in control to bring the submissive partner near orgasm and then cease stimulation for hours or days.
Orgasm denial does not have to operate within the framework of traditional BDSM. Although these types of orgasm denial appear to be kink focused, especially when including chastity devices and dominant/submissive power dynamics, that isn’t always the case. Some prefer to take a toned down, spiritual, tantra-like approach to orgasm denial, as Karezza. It involves equally denying orgasms for both partners rather than one being in control of the other. Additionally, some people even practice solo orgasm denial.
The extreme sexual tension it creates actually heightens the arousal and eventual release. It’s a wonderful tool to rekindle sexual desire in long term relationships. Orgasm denial can extend foreplay and help amp up libido for those with lower sex drives and intensify the climax and it can help males to learn to control their climax and hold off longer.
Many couples find orgasm denial increases intimacy with their partner and helps them feel more present and connected during sex. This can be especially true for those who put emphasis on the power play dynamic. Playing with Dominant/submissive control in any capacity can foster feelings of devotion and commitment in both partners.
If you haven’t tried orgasm denial, why not experiment by starting off slowly using short increments of time? You can choose to edge yourself toward eventual orgasm during a solo masturbation session. Or even bring in an experienced element of escort to initiate you both in tease and denial. Most have found that orgasm denial adds erotic anticipation to their sex play and results in much more enjoyable orgasms.
**This text does not reflect, necessarily, ApartadoX opinion.
